Phuket, Thailand to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysa – Where’s my F^#^% Wallet?

My taxi ride to the airport was rather funny.  The car pulled up, and it was an older Honda Civic, with dual fart canons and blackout windows.  This is not a popular thing in Thailand.  Then the driver gets out, and he is a male in his late 30’s, dressed like a hip hop wanna be.  My first impression is, this is great!  My ride to the airport will be quick!

I was right!  He drove down each street hitting the top speed allowed, where most drivers drive rather slow because of the amount of pedestrians.  As I always say, survival of the fittest.  If you don’t look both ways, your problem.

To top it off, he had an aftermarket DVD player in it, and can you guess what it was playing.  Yup, Fast and the Furious.  He loves that movie and wants to drive like them.  However, he actually doesn’t.  He drives a little fast, but not really.  Slow to what I am used too.

The ride to the airport was great, and now I am going through security.

As always I pull out my laptop from my carry on and toss it into a bin.  Actually, I first put in my smart phone, then at request, my passport, then my laptop on top of those items.  In my hand I have my wallet, which I never toss into a bin and always hold it.  Only a few times in my life have I been asked to put it into a bin.  Anyways, the girl makes me.  So I toss it on top of the laptop.  In case you didn’t get the order of the bin, it is, Phone, Passport, Laptop and now on top my wallet.

Well my bag and bin go through the scanner and I walk through the metal detector with no alarms.  However, the pretty looking young male security guard decides he wants to frisk me anyways.

My bin at the moment is being pulled through and the girl also decides my laptop needs a swipe test, so she pulls it out of the bin.  Remember my wallet is on top.  Well, it falls off and goes under the scanner.

I did not notice this because my new BFF is tickling my ribs and I am sure he got some side boob action.

The Tickle Monster, as I know call him, is finally done and I pay him.  I mean, I don’t.  Wow, that is twice in the Thailand I got felt up with out paying.  Damn good odds for me.

Anyways, I grab my phone, passport and laptop and head to through customs.  10 minutes later I am at my gate, and all of a sudden, I realize, “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WALLET!”  I take a second and run each step through my head and remember I never got it back and I also clearly remember the bin was empty.

Shit, did someone take it, or did it fall out?

I speed walk back to customs and tell them my wallet is missing and I know I lost it at security.  The girl doesn’t understand.  I pull out my phone and use my translator app.  She then understands and tells me to go there quickly.  You don’t have to tell me twice.

I get to security and explain to them the situation.  They stop all traffic and start looking for it.  We also re-scan my bag, to prove it is not in it.

A few minutes pass and no one knows where it is.  I tell the people, it must have fallen out when you swiped my laptop.  Look under the machine.

A girl does and there it is.  OMG, thank you!  I am so happy, I even tell the guy he can pat me down again if he wants.

Anyways, I go back through customs with no issues and get to my gate with a few minutes to spare.

This plane ride is only 75 minutes long, and we land in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysa with no issues.

So that’s start of my commute to Amsterdam.  Wish me luck on the rest of it.

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