Patong Thailand – Where everything happens! ladyboy pulls my zipper!

In this post I am not going to go day by day, but give more the highlights over the last 3 or 4 days.

It all started a few minutes after I check into my hostel dorm room.  As soon as I arrived and dropped my bags, I said Hi to everyone in the room.  This is a new thing I am doing to make it comfortable right away.

The first person I meet is a guy from Croatia, who has the bed across from me.  The next guy is on the bed above me, and he is from Istanbul.

The three of us start chatting and decide tonight we will all go out together.

A few hour later, we are out and about!  Or first stop is a small bar for a few beers.  Croatia buys a flashlight taser, and yes you read that right.  A Flashlight Taser!  We all ask the other person to try it, but non of us do.  Lol.  I hate electricity.

The night was rather laid back until Croatia decided we should see a Ping Pong Show.  For all of you who do not know what that is.  Well, read this.

A street guy takes us through a Go Go Bar, into the back where there is nothing, and then into a hallway where it is starting to look like the Hostel from the movie Hostel.  At one point we all look at each other like, “What the Fuck did we get ourselves into!”

Then in this dark, dirty hallway, two doors open up, and there is a bar with a tone of people in it.  He takes us all the way around the bar stage, to the side corner and hands us a drink menu.  The drinks are priced at 900 baht ($36 CAD) per drink.  I say, no way!  Croatia argues and says, 200 baht or we just leave.  The guy agrees and gets us 3 beers at 200 baht ($8 CAD) per drink, per hour.

The show is already in progress and I know this by the ping pong ball that just went flying by my head.  The entire time we were arguing about beers, I didn’t notice what was going on, on the stage.

Well, there is a older girl on stage with a mini skirt.  She is pushing ping pong balls up her man hole and then shooting them out at the audience.  At this point I am laughing, but also doing my best to avoid being hit buy one.  Like, Ewwwwww!

The next show is two younger girls come out and dance, while dressed in mans white dress shirts and thongs.  These girls know how to move.  Like DAMN!

After doing some sexy dancing, like the type I do in the mirror when no one is around.  They pull an older guy up on stage.  He has no idea what shit he just got himself into.

They quickly pull off his shirt and shorts, he is now in his boxers.  The girls try getting them off too, but he refuses.  The one girl tricks him and puts a towel around him and he agrees.

He is now laying on his back with the towel around him and all 3 girls are giving him lap dances and teasing him.  You can see he is extremely embarrassed, and the more it is obvious, the more they tease him.

They continue teasing him, grabbing his junk under the towel not showing us what they are doing, but we can guess.  The next thing we see, is the one girl yanks his towel off and runs away with it.  Everyone cheers, and claps, trying to make the dude feel comfortable.  However, there is no chance in hell I would have done what he got suckered into.

This is where he says enough and gets off stage, where they take him in the back and …  He was back there for 30 minutes, so I am guessing they gave him a bonus for going on stage.

The next act was a girl using her garage door to shoot darts at balloons.  Again, very interesting.

At this point it has been an hour and we either buy another drink or go.  We decide to go as I am corrupted for life anyways.

The next day Istanbul checks out and I say goodbye to another really cool friend.  I hope to someday visit his country.  He made a very good impression on me.

That night Croatia and I go out again, but this time we just have a tone of beers and walk around, being amused by the ladyboys and massage girls.  At the end of this night, we decide tomorrow will be our crazy night.  This will be his last night in Patong.

The next day I check out of the hostel and book myself into a hotel with a very nice pool.  I got an amazing deal online for less than $20 CAD per night including a breakfast.  The hostel was $5 CAD per night, but had no common room and I wanted to catch up on my blogs.  I also thought, this is my last few days in tropical weather, so why not enjoy it to the fullest.

It’s time!  I meet up with Croatia at the hostel and we head out to buy a bottle of rum and mix.  We also grab some take out food and head back to my place to sit by the pool.

Scarfing down this amazing BBQ food, Croatia says to me, “This is pretty awesome that you can meet a person, hangout and have such a great time, and not know each others names!”  I respond with, I was just thinking the same thing.  So we finally tell each other our names.

Croatia’s name is Kazimir, but I call him Kaz.

I do have to expand on this.  Traveling as I used to, to hotels I never met anyone or hung out with random people.  Going to hostels and backpacking is by far the best way to travel.  The people you meet, the things you learn about other countries are amazing, and worth every second.  This has been the best journey of my life.

Well, we are now both full of amazing BBQ shrimp and rum, and are ready to start the shit show.

Down on Bangla street we start by grabbing some more big beers, and walking around.

Kazimir and the Ladyboys

Here we are watching a magic street performer.  He is extremely good and I tip him a few dollars.

Uh oh, the shit show is well on its way.

Here is a silly Russian fighting with the police.  I guess he sucker bunched some guy for no real reason.  I am sure he is in for a bad night.

How stupid are you, to get into shit in Thailand, where there is evidence the police have tossed two tourist off of the 14th floor of a building already twice this year.  Oh yes, but both were set as suicides.

Some more random pictures of the red light district street.

We didn’t know this but at midnight they can no longer sell beer at the 7-Elevens.  Here the beers are 51 baht for a 1 liter, and at the bars a .330 liter beer is 120 baht.  🙁 so sad.  Anyways, we find a side street where a girl is selling large beers and we barter her down to 110 baht for a large beer.

When I am paying for the beer, a ladyboy comes over and grabs my arm.  I politely say, no.  He, she, it then grabs my stomach, and I push its hand away and say. NO!  Then it tries pulling down my zipper, and I then push its hand away and say, “Fuck off, do not touch me!“.  It gets mad and starts yelling.  Luckily I had my beer paid and we quickly walk away into the crowd.  This is the only annoying thing you have to be careful of.  You can’t get to aggressive with them, because Thai people stick together, even when they are in the wrong.

My advise, when this starts to happen, say no and walk away fast.  Do not argue or try to reason with them.  They do not care!

Anyways, that was the end of our pretty rad night.

The next day, Kazimir is off to Bangkok, and we both send each other emails saying goodbye.  Kazimir tells me, when I come his way, to make sure I message him and stay at his house.  I tell him the same. I will miss our funny drunk conversations.

Kazimir, I wish you the best of luck in you travels, until we meet again!

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